thoughts...

yesterday went to a friend's place for lunch, then dinner. met up w another pal from where i used to go to sch.

cooked thai-styled beef. everythhing went well, then, we talked about buddhism; death, temples, their extravagance,etc.

kind of freaky. wanted to get hold of this sutra thing, t iprove on my health. etc.

later, somehow, that night, got feeling hungry again and just freaked out. couldnt sleep again. slept at about 2am, woke up at 2.30, then woke up almost 2 hours later, and another...

felt like really freaked out about death. but ppl have been telling me: die, what's e worse? die die loh. how sangfroid.
how easy it is to say that, when one is in e pink of health...but has anyone seen a v sick man say otherwise?

i'm not q sure. anyway, i'm just like, wondering how strange it is...

death and sickness. i dunno y but i find that in e past, it's like when u read textx on buddhism, i didnt ever feel so affllicted by these words. but somehow, now, it's very terrible, very i my mind, ever so, almost like every minute of the day and it's really gettig to me.

but i've wasted so much of my time in the past to these concerns; gym, etc. i thinkt o myself: how laughable you've been. how much time you've wasted. now, i mustnt repeat e mistkae. i can at least try not to.