i dunno what's wrong w me or my life. i hear this thing in my head the past 2 days, includinglast fri and i worry about a tumour in my head/neck/face, leukaemia, kidney problem/failure, etc. it frightens me. tremendously.
my whole life is in fear. i dunno what will happen. or if my strength will grow. i'd rather not have to undergo such adversity in order to learn that kinda strength.
i dunno. so many thots. swirling. that vortex. tommrow i wanted to take leave. now i cant. i dunno y. maybe there is a purpose. hopefuly, it isnt a medical one. i m afraid. frightened. petrified. i dunno y. it's just that life is so full of uncertainty and i see nothing but darkness, pitch black, a liquid so dark it's swirling, waiting to wrap itself around me and swallowing my whole. it is awful, to know that one is sliding inot that zone, that place where u will not return, to become nothing, to return to nothingness. it is awful. is it?
i dunno. dunno anymore. i fear for my loved ones, i fear for myself. i fear.
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