because i carry 'hell' with me and i have carried that baggage of OCD over the past years WITHOUT realising that it's been plaguing me and i must LET GO and STOP this obsessive fucking stupid SHIT, and STOP allowing my karma t CONTINUE to plague my LIFE and my mom's and roland's becaus ei will continue to CREATE BAD KARMA by LOSING MY TEMPER with others as long as i let my STUPID FUCKING FUCKING IDIOTIIC OCD GO ON.
I MUST FUCKING STOP!!
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