talking and yakking

havent been in here for about10 days? i realised...
been sick a couple of days.

my weight again! bugging me.

the 2nd day, i weighed myself: 68kg at home.

the 1st day, i was 67.3kg

the 2nd day, i was 67.5kg

TODAY, i am 67.1kg.

f£$^...sigh. i lost weight! so sian.

maybe i didnt. maybe i did. aiyah, i dunno leh, feel sian. worried.

realise that everyday, i have been preoccupied about my weight and my girth. each day, i feel that my weight is dropping because my pants are so LOOSE.

1) am i really losing weight?
- 67.5kg to 68kg to 67kg. about same?

Does thinking about my weight or thinking about my weight INCREASE IT?
- NO.

so? STOP THINKING ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT.

fears?
- fear that my weight will keep dropping.

what will it do for me if i keep thinking abot my weight?
- NOTHING. -> same goes for if i go to paris and what has happened over past 2 years at warwick, etc....it is torment.

edmund u must STOP.

is there evidence that your weight fluctuates over past 2 years?

YES. it DINGDONGS UP AND DOWN. but in the end, it's still very much e same? -> think luton, warwick, etc

therefore, STOP FREAKING OUT.

on a different note, i want to do other things.
i want to get in to Uni of Paris and be happy!
i want to save enough till ... yippee!
i want to be happy! just happy!
i m praying...