zui lang man de shi

strange how time flies.

i m listening to this song by zhao yong hua. it reminds me of that time when i was in army. 92-94. feels like an entire universe ago. it's strange, somehow, i remembered that period as an extremely traumatic period yet there was pockets, when i feel even reminiscent.

it was the particular nights during that time when at night, i missed someone very much. it was a wonderfully, pure love. i dunno if its love but i knew that the affection was pure.

how do you explain about jsut desiring to be with someone; to be near there, to see their eyes, to hope that they would only look at you for that moment, only to have them come into your office or room to look for you to say hi, to say nothing. to just be together. to be in their presence.

lovely.

i remembered that night when i was lying in the vehicle and that outside, there was the giant grandfather clock hanging in the sky, and it was cold. so we retired into the vehicle and just stayed there, lying on our backs, one arm behind our heads, one leg crossed over the other. no gazes between us, just looking up at the ceiling of that vehicle and we just do nothing but hear each other's breathes. then you turn to me and look at me and asked me matter-of-factly questions like, "are you feeling hot?" or "do you want a mat?".

but the next day, once the sun came up, it was all over.

sigh...i still remember those times when we hung out in the dormitory and we did nothing but hung out. at nights in the dusty corridors, as the wind whistled through the windows in the empty rooms, there were only 2 persons in this world, and two hearts. yours and mine.

you came into the room after your shower and then, lie down on the mattress, and just before bed, you'd put your hand on my head, give it a quick rub before saying "goodnight".

i wonder where u are now, as i listen to zui lang man de shi in my heart.

the most romantic thing in the world, is to grow old with you...